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Health » Sexual-health » Her-interest-090112
Getting Her Interested In Sex!
Getting Her Interested In Sex! Most men complain that their women are not interested in sex. Well, ask the women and chances are if you're newly married or soon to be married it's not that she is not interested in sex. It's more likely that she's unsure of what to do or is suffering from some kind of discomfort that is putting her off sex.

Here are some questions men frequently ask us about why their girls are not more into sex!

Question My girlfriend is a virgin. What should I do to make sex less painful and more enjoyable for her?
Answer Sex with a virgin does not have to be painful or even uncomfortable for your partner. If your girlfriend is a virgin, then in all probability her hymen (skin closing the mouth of the vagina) may still be intact. I say 'may be intact' because it is possible to tear the hymen through exercise or intense physical activity but still be a virgin.

So, take it very slowly and make sure you engage in enough foreplay to get your girlfriend sexually aroused. Once that happens, it may be a good idea to insert a finger or two before you proceed with actual penetration. This will help your girlfriend to adjust slowly and prepare for sex. Also, you should ask her to tell you how slowly she wants you to go and how deep she wants you to go. If there is a lot of discomfort or pain (a little pain is expected and nothing to worry about), you may be better off using an artificial lubricant as it is her first time and she be not be naturally lubricated.

Lastly, the fact that you're concerned about her enough to ask for advice shows that you really care about showing her a good time and probably will!


Question My wife is not particularly interested in sex as she complains about a burning sensation in her vagina (yoni mein jalan). Please help.
Answer The burning sensation that your wife experiences in her vagina could be for many reasons. The most common reason is a lack of lubrication. If your wife is not lubricating naturally, or if the lubrication is not enough, then sex can be extremely painful for her. A burning sensation is also a natural feeling when this happens. You can easily solve this by using artificial lubrication in the form of lubricating jellies and creams.

However, the problem may be more serious such as due to a vaginal infection or the presence of any sexually transmitted disease. So, if artificial lubrication does not help, you should get your wife to see a doctor.

Question My wife is not interested in sex at all. Is she suffering from sexual dysfunction? What should I do?
Answer Technically, yes. Whenever a couple suffers from sexual problems of any nature it is called sexual dysfunction. However, before looking for any treatment options you need to understand that sexual dysfunctions are classified into 4 primary types.
  1. Desire dysfunctions: This is when she is not interested in having sex anymore or is less interested than before. Desire dysfunctions are often periodic and correct themselves (like just after childbirth or if she is undergoing stress at work).
  2. Arousal dysfunctions: This is when she doesn't get aroused at all. As in, she has no response to any sexual stimuli - physical, emotional or intellectual. Also, it means she doesn't not respond sexually to anyone - not just you.
  3. Orgasmic dysfunctions: This is when she cannot attain orgasm or experiences a lot of pain during orgasm. Such women are interested in sex and get aroused but cannot climax which can be extremely frustrating.
  4. Sexual pain dysfunctions: This is when she has pain during or after sex.

For more information on sexual dysfunction and how to help your woman if she suffers from it, please subscribe to our weekly newsletters.
Ruchi Agarwal
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