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Shaaditimers » Member-contribution » Travel-light-040604
 
Travel light!

One would have heard it n number of times that life is a journey. I firmly believe that one of the important prerequisites of a peaceful & pleasant journey is to travel light! And to travel light, one needs to do away with the unwanted luggage!

What could be the unwanted luggage in life!?! Meaningless relationships, mostly in the name of friendship, though there could be other forms also. One may not always be able to do away with the other forms of relationships because of societal pressures. But, friendship? Definitely, yes!

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I strongly believe that friendship is one of the highest and purest forms of relationship a person can get into. Friendship is one of the very few, if not the only one, relationships an individual gets to choose on his own. And in its ideal form, it comes without any strings attached, always a win-win proposition with lots of give and take in the right spirit (and the proportion doesn't matter)!

But as I see in worldly terms, friends can be of four types. The Soul mates - those who are always there to share your happiness and sorrows alike; The Rarities - those who would definitely be there when you are in trouble, but not necessarily otherwise even to share your happiness; The Pseudos - those who would love to have a laugh and fun when everything is fine, but would strictly expect you to handle your sorrows all on your own because you are after all a mature person! The last and undoubtedly the least are the Parasites - those who would like to use your friendship (what!?!) for the best of their benefits and drop you by the wayside when you can't offer anything more.

The last ones are on top of the unwanted luggage list and any explanation to support this point is at best redundant. The first two are anyone's delight and are often the reason for happiness in anyone's life. That leaves only the third category to be addressed.

While the pseudos are actually harmless (otherwise, they would join the elite list of Parasites), do they really deserve our time? Well, not really. I'll still put them in the unwanted luggage list. The reason is very simple and straightforward. The moment you deem someone as a friend, some expectations are attached to them deep down your subconscious mind, which is beyond your or for that matter anyone's control! Expectation is the mother of disappointment and conscious expectations are not good to have in any relationship. But subconscious expectations are beyond anyone's control. Coming back to the point of our discussion, a friend is subconsciously expected to be by your side always and especially when you are going through a difficult phase (not necessarily to pull you out of the trouble, but at least to be a source of tranquility and harmony). But, Pseudos tend to break this expectation and the resultant disappointment only adds to your mental woes. If you did not have them in your friends list, you at least don't go through this painful experience and hence the logic of putting them in the unwanted luggage list. But the idea is not to shy away from them like you would and should do with Parasites, but to maintain a hi-bye relationship. And probably hope to have them as your Soul mates in the future!

If this sort of approach could be extended to your other relationships as well, it would only add to the happiness in your life!

So, work towards traveling light, all through your precious life! Happy Living!!!

Shanmuga S S
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