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Shaaditimers » Member-contribution » A-broken-heart-060207
 
A broken heart

Dear friends, I read all the feedbacks on ' Rejected In Love'. Broken heart in a relationship is very hard and very fatal for those who have a very sensitive nature. What do you think is the most precious thing of humans? Yes, it's life. If you lose that you never get it back. Have you noticed hundreds of people committing suicide every year because of heartbreak or rejection from love ones? And the feeling of losing the most precious thing of their lives - love. Friends, watching movies and making movies are two different things, so don't consider those who commit suicide are senseless, stupid or cowards. Those people are like us - sensible and ambitious and very much optimistic about life. What factors push such good and sensible people in the dark cave of death? Only one - love, and for love, people leave their religion, family values, kingdom, respect and dignities. If I want I can join millions of people saying that those folks were stupid, coward, weak etc. If I say that, I will be wrong.

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Let me tell you a real story. One of my friends who got masters in computer science from USA was sharing a two bed room apartment with me and another guy from Belgium. My friend was quite sensible and a bookworm, and he had very high expectations from life. He was very intellectual. We were very close and shared every good and bad thing with each other.

One day he took me for dinner and introduced me to a beautiful girl from Lebanon. He was very excited about her. He always talked about her whenever we sat together. He was a responsible person and had a lot of responsibilities in Pakistan. He was so optimistic about life, family and his future. Days passed on and I saw him grow deeper and deeper in love.

One day he visited me at my job. He looked very disturbed and his eyes were filled with tears. He just sat on the chair and didn't say anything, and all of sudden he left without saying a single word. I was shocked but I was at work so couldn't catch him till night. When I came home I found him in our iron balcony. His eyes were filled with tears and when he saw me he hugged me and started crying. I was stunned at that moment because he had never acted like that before. I pacified him and asked him what had happened. He told me in simple words that his girlfriend was ignoring him since a long time. He thought it may be due to semester exams pressure, but today he saw her with a guy from Syria and she ignored him completely. I told my friend that why doesn't he ask her what she wants? That way I made him calm down.

The next day he woke up with some new spirit and went for his job. But in the evening I saw his blank face. He didn't say anything about her and when I asked about her he told me that he didn't want to talk about her anymore. I felt bad, and apologised to him for my interference.

As days passed he went deeper into silence. He developed absent mindedness and carelessness towards his appearance. I sat hours besides him and talked about different topics. He just listened, never gave any comment about anything. Some times I felt I was talking to walls. Because of his that attitude I left him alone and whenever we came face to face we just exchanged greeting. Most of time I initiated to greet him.

On the 15 th of March 1997, he unexpectedly visited me at my workplace, just to inform me that he is leaving tonight to Pakistan because he wanted to see his mother. He gave me an envelope which had his share of rent, gas and electricity bill. I was little upset because he didn't tell about his plan to go to Pakistan. I thought if he had told me earlier I would've bought some thing for my family. I gave him a cool response and just told him all the best. He waited for a few minutes and all that time he looked towards the floor. I ignored him and concentrated on my work. He stood up to bid me good bye and slowly walked towards door. At the door he said, with very weak voice "AJ ! Can I hug you my friend." I felt bad and hugged him with a clean heart. I felt two warm water drops on my shoulder, and he suddenly left my shoulder and rushed back to the door. Whole time I was in mixed feeling and condemned myself for ignoring him. That was last time I saw the smiling face of my friend. When I came back from work I felt lonely and missed him a lot.

One day one of our common friend gave me a call and told me that my friend had committed suicide the day after he reached Pakistan. His family wanted to know what the problem was. Why he did do that? This news killed me from inside.

I still see his face all around me. I know he was not crazy. He was educated, well mannered, religious and a gentleman. Who brought him to that position? That girl? There were so many other beautiful girls available to him. Everyone was impressed by his personality. He was the best student of his class. Mentally stable and perfectly sound. What was wrong with him? Nothing, but only one thing - true love, along with strong and sincere feelings about some one he had committed to. But she didn't deserve it. Friends, to kill yourself by your own hands needs huge heart so please don't call the people who kill themselves cowards. No they are not cowards, but they have strong feeling for those who are feeling-less.

Ajay
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