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Friends For Life
The Colours of Love Yellow
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Married and best of friends - that's the idyllic state you should aim for...
Some experts talk a lot about why women should keep up with their girlfriends, even after they marry and get sucked into the vortex of marital life. Just the same, most men opt to hang out with their best mates post-marriage.
This advice or desire for friends stems from the important role that they play in your life. A friend can help you 'really' unwind, confess and share your deepest, darkest desires ands mistakes, and in general let your hair down and live it up. In short, as stress-busters friends are key to some of the most relaxing, enjoyable and memorable moments of your life.
Is your better half also your buddy?
But hang on a minute - can't your hubby or wife be your best buddy? Why do we mostly always perceive our friends as one group and our better half and children (or family) as another?
These were questions that irked Raj, one year after his arranged marriage with Tina. It wasn't as though he wasn't happily married. He was, so much so that he desired to multiply his happiness by spending more time with his wife!
In truth, he was somewhat confounded by Tina always making such a big do about his and her time off - for him to bond with his pals and for her to catch up with her girlfriends. Was this really necessary when he would much rather spend time with his beloved wife?
At least try to be best friends
But Tina assured him that in the years to come, he would thank her for this consideration. Was Tina right in thinking so? Or was she missing his point?
In truth, Tina's position was valid. Men and women usually need a same gender emotional anchor outside their marriage, simply because it is unlikely for a man (or a woman) to completely understand someone of the other gender, however close he (or she) may be to the person.
But this should not be taken to mean that partners do not try to be each others' best friend. That was where Tina had gone wrong. She had simply assumed that a husband and wife can never be best friends, and perhaps this insecurity led her to limit her relationship with Raj.
Raj, on the contrary, was so gung-ho about his marriage that he looked to have all his needs - physical, emotional and spiritual - fulfilled by his partner. In other words, he was determined to splash yellow on his relationship by making his wife his best friend.
A splash of yellow
A patient man, Raj decided to share his viewpoint with Tina by example. So one day, he casually asked her what she did when she was out with her girlfriends. Tina was taken by surprise, but said "Oh you know, we window shop at a jewellery store, buy an outfit, sit down for coffee, joke around. But why do you ask?"
"Just like that..." smiled Raj in response. Next Friday he told Tina that his boss expected him to work that weekend. Seeing her face fall, he quickly added that his weekend task was to hunt for a gold bracelet costing around 30K. You see - his bosses wife's birthday was coming up soon but as his boss had to travel during the coming week, he'd asked Raj to look for a suitable gift.
Now this was all made up, but Tina hadn't a clue! She was delighted with the opportunity to window shop for jewellery! Raj proceeded to spend Saturday morning doing exactly what Tina would have done with her friends. They window shopped, then he decided to buy himself a new shirt, and then they had coffee together!
Somehow, Raj managed to drive home his point - that they could have fun times together, and let their hair down when in each others' company as friends. How about you? Do your partner and you also spend time together as friends, sans expectations from each other? If not, what are you waiting for? Add friendship yellow to your relationship today.
- Friends don't expect things from each other. So when you're out shopping together, don't think 'my husband must buy me a new dress.' You want a new dress, buy it yourself!
- Gift each other flowers - daisies and daffodils are yellow and send a strong friendship message, or else how about a bouquet of yellow roses?
- Spend time together doing what you'd normally only do with a friend.
Read More And Get Colourful:
The Colours of Love - Pink
The Colours Of Love - Brown
The Colours Of Love - White
Black Is Back - With A Vengeance
The Colours of Love Orange
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Charu Bahri
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