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| Improving Relationships |
 Malti Bhojwani
Is the founder of Multi Coaching International, a certified and experienced life coach, NLP practitioner (Neuro Linguistic Programming), workshop leader and published author. She mainly coaches by phone where her clients have lost weight, found partners, gotten over past relationships and changed their lives using her skills and powerful exercises. Have a question? Click here...
Love Cinderella Style
 Anita (name changed) asks,
I don’t understand how people can actually like someone without meeting them in person. I am now on Shaadi.com after my parents pleaded me to find a match for myself. But I dream of love Cinderella style. Do I have any future?
 Dear Anita,
The beauty of this is that you get to know the person a little before you even waste time meeting them. Being online, often people can be quite honest and share a lot about themselves. The shyness of a face-to-face meeting is not there. However, yes have your Cinderella experience, treat Shaadi as your ball and you get to 'dance' with quite a few potentials discreetly and safely before you find your handsome prince, I would arrange to meet him safely a few times and see if he does not turn into a frog or his carriage into a pumpkin, before doing the ‘7 pheras’!
Be Patient
Naren Chalasani asks,
I am an army officer from Hyderabad. With the advent of corporate and MNC’s
in Southern India, especially Hyderabad and Bengaluru, most parents prefer a guy settled in Hyderabad but very few of them opt for an army officer, who is doing a noble job for the country. Can you suggest me a way out?
Dear Naren,
While you are looking for a prospective life partner, what really matters is the kind of person you are more than what you do. Yes, the place where you’re located will be a matter of consideration for your potential wife and her family, but you need not worry much about it. List your attributes – do you consider yourself a caring and responsible person? what qualities are you looking for in your life partner? Be proud of those assets. Army men are considered to be loyal, reliable and responsible who know how to treat women with respect. Since you are an expert in people management, you will understand your partner’s needs and feelings better. So, relax and give it some time. Be honest in your communication and you will soon find your perfect match..
Ask For a Recent Snap
Gurpreet Singh asks,
I have come across a number of profiles on Shaadi.com and I noticed that some people have uploaded photos that are more than three years old. I have not understood the purpose of putting an outdated photograph on a matrimony site. Can you please explain this to me?
Dear Gurpreet,
People do funny things for strange reasons. I don’t really know why have women you came across on Shaadi.com posted old pictures. May be they registered on Shaadi.com a few years ago and then never changed their picture or may be they haven’t got a picture clicked lately. I suggest, after exchanging a few messages if you think that you like the girl you are communicating with, politely ask her for a casual and recent photograph, so that you know what she looks like now. Good luck!
Support Your Spouse
Sunny asks,
I’m a divorcee and I got married the second time because my parents forced me. I haven’t been able to accept her as my second wife and so I’m finding it difficult to live with her. What should I do?
Dear Sunny,
You If you have allowed your family to get you re-married and you have given marriage a second shot, then I think it would be fair for you and your new wife to give it a real chance. What is marriage meant to be anyway? Companionship and partnership, sharing mutual goals and a vision for a family together, showing care and concern for each other’s well-being, etc. Life is not meant to be so difficult, it is meant to be light and joyful instead and when you have someone by your side to share that love and joy with you, it’s a wonderful gift you’ve got. Do you realise that there are many people who are lonely and wish to be in your position? If you say, you can’t accept your second wife from your heart, this sounds like an excuse to me. You aren’t taking any effort from your end to make this relationship work. Be clear about what you want to do. You want a third chance? Start thinking positive and spending sometime with her. This will help you understand her better.
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